2 PHUKET: You arrived, so what now (updated 12 MARCH 2019))

First time visitors to Phuket can find their first encounter with the island a bit intimidating and overwhelming.  You have been on a long flight of at least 14 to 16 hours and here you are tired but yet excited and the first thing that hits you is ............ the HEAT. 

In this post I am going to try and give my fellow South Africans some behind the scenes do's and don'ts about Phuket - what to do, where to go, how to get there and so forth. You will either LOVE Phuket ... or hate it. Me personally ... it is my TRUE LOVE ... lol

IMMIGRATION REQUIREMENTS

Your first encounter with Thailand's Immigration Procedures starts about and hour or two before actually arriving in Phuket. The cabin crew on your flight to Phuket will hand out two immigration cards that each passenger must complete. It is important that both the arrival card and the departure card be completed in full. Do not wait until you disembark the plane and reach the immigration counters. If your cards are not completed you will be taken out of the queue.

back of the immigration card

Further down I will explain the customs procedures.

ARRIVING IN PHUKET

Phuket International Airport is far from being the massive, impressing Suvarnabhumi (pronounced SUE WAR NA BOEM) International airport  in Bangkok. What do you expect, this is an island! Since September 2016 the new international Terminal 2 has been opened. 

You will be arriving at Terminal 2 and immigration of late is a breeze. The long queues of before is no longer there and going through the immigration/customs process should not take long. 

The blue roof is the new international arrival/departure terminal

CUSTOMS AND IMMIGRATION

I

PROCEDURES YOU WILL GO THROUGH

Make sure you have your passport, as well as the FULLY COMPLETED AND SIGNED Arrival Immigration Card and Departure Immigration Card, ready. Stand in the queue. On arrival at the immigration desk, hand over all three and stand on the designated spot where the official will take a picture of you. You passport will be stamped and the Arrival Immigration Card collected. The Departure Immigration Card will be stapled into your passport. Whatever you do, DO NOT remove this from your passport. You will not be allowed to leave the country without it.

From here, move through to the Baggage Claim Area, allocate your bag and follow the exit route.

There are several ATMs past  Customs, all from well known banks, so it is safe to use. Exchange rate is said to be good (bit higher than in town). 

Hotel/Private Transport Shuttle Service Representatives are not allowed inside the Airport terminal, so if you booked a transfer with your hotel or private transport person, go straight outside and find your driver holding a sign with your name. You will find your private driver waiting for you outside the baggage claim area usually at Exit 4 or Exit 5. Make sure you know which exit.


Some distances from Phuket Airport (roads are congested with scooters, trucks and tuk-tuks) to the tourist beach areas are:

to Patong Beach: 37.7 km, 40 to 50 min drive 

to Kata Beach : 47.4 km, 1 hour drive

to Karon Beach: 43.4 km, 1 hour drive

to Panwa Beach: 43.9 km, 1 hour drive

to Bangtao Beach: 21 km, 29 min drive

to Phuket Town : 32.8 km, 40 min drive 

to Rawai Beach: 48 km, 58 min drive

to Chalong Pier: 40 km, 50 min drive

to Kamala Beach: 27.6 km, 36 min drive

to Surin Beach: 23.3 km, 29 min drive

Mai Khao Beach: 8 km, 18 min drive

IF YOU JUST CANNOT COPE WITHOUT YOUR CELL PHONE

You have several options. One thing you should not do is open your phone in South Africa for international roaming. You will end up with one enormous bill when back home.

Lately I do not even bother getting a local Thai Tourist Sim Card. I make use of the readily available WiFi in the hotels (some hotels however charge a fee for WiFi but thus far my hotels were all inclusive) and numerous public places. From there I can access FACEBOOK and WHATTSAPP from my phone.

THAI TOURIST SIM CARD

As I said, The last time I was there I  did not even bother to get a sim as I only made available of wifi spots to talk and text to friends and family in SA. WHY DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO CHAT TO FRIENDS IN SA ... YOU ARE ON HOLIDAY FOR "F" SAKE! ....HMM, YOU OBVIOUSLY JUST WANT TO BRAG   ABOUT YOUR HOLIDAY,  RIGHT. LOL

Anyway, if you are a couple of friends together it is always good  to have a Thai Sim for at least two of your phones.  Especially if you're a first time visitor. Everything is new and exciting and believe me you WILL get lost in the night markets. So calling your fellow tourist buddies to catch up would be great. Usually local calls made between these sim cards are free of charge or VERY CHEAP, about 50 satang (15 ZAR cent) per minute. International calls to South Africa are also about 1 THB per minute.

HOW TO OBTAIN A THAI TOURIST PRE-PAID SIM CARD

A few options for easily getting a pre-paid (aka pay-as-you-go) tourist SIM card (with data) in Thailand. No matter where or when you purchase your Thai SIM card, you’ll have to show your passport. Otherwise, it’s an extremely quick and simple transaction. Just choose your plan (depending on how long you’ll stay and how much data you want), flash your passport, pay, switch your SIM card and you’re off. Set-up and top-up menus are all offered in English. The lady at the selling point will also help you get you set up. 

PAY-AS-YOU-GO options in Thailand: Nothing on earth is easier than getting a Thai SIM card for the duration of your holiday. Each of the major Thai carriers offers a handful of ‘Traveler SIM’ options including those for solo travelers and families. One of the larger carriers, AIS, has these three options. If you’re traveling as a couple or a group, these packages cleverly offer 7 days’ free calls between other Traveler SIMs. DTAC and TrueMove, other large Thai carriers, have similar options.

Pay-as-you-Go Pricing. Very reasonable. AIS packages start at 199฿ (approximately R80,00). For this, you get 7 days’ unlimited internet and calling amongst other Traveller SIMs, with 30 days’ validity. For faster internet, look at a 299฿ package (roughly R120,00). Prices may differ because like in SA there is always competition. So ask around.

Three Major Service Providers. The three major cell phone providers are True, DTAC and AIS. All of them have pros and cons, but their signal and 3G coverage is nowadays everywhere the same. So if you are going to the major touristy spots and you are not interested in 4G internet speed then simply choose the cheapest option of one of these 3 mobile companies. You will see signs everywhere saying: 'Thailand SIM card for tourist'.

GETTING AROUND IN PHUKET

So have have now booked into your hotel and everything is ready for your fabulous holiday. If you are planning to just stay in the area where your hotel is i.e. Patong Beach then you can pretty much go everywhere by foot. To walk from the one end of Patong Beach to the other will take about 40 minutes BUT there is so much to see that it will take much longer.

But Phuket has so much more to offer and you did not travel so many thousands of kilometers just to be stuck in one place! There are numerous options for you to see Phuket as well as the other islands around Phuket.

NEW BUS SERVICE FROM THE AIRPORT CONNECTING ALL THE WESTERN BEACH AREAS

Finally, you can avoid the taxi mafia! There is a new travel option that's been in the local news. After a trial run, the Phuket Smart Bus has officially launched. It travels to/from Phuket's international and domestic terminals along the west coast, stopping at all the beaches all the way to Rawai. There are 12 stops including Kata, Karon, Patong, Kamala , Surin, Bang Tao, Cherngtalay and Thalang. You can take it between beaches or all the way to/from the airport. Buses begin at both the airport and Rawai daily at 6.45am and the last bus leaves both at 7.15pm.

Fares are however not cheap and range between 50-170 baht depending on how far you travel. You must use a Rabbit Smartcard to use the bus service, which are sold on the bus and can be used in many places besides the bus. Cards start at 400 baht (R180) plus about 100 baht (R45) for the card. You can then top up the card and keep re-using it. https://card.rabbit.co.th/en 

You are supposed to scan the card twice during a trip. Once when you get on board and a second time when exiting at your destination. The first charge on the card will be a standard amount I think it is either 100 baht or 150 baht. Then when you are exiting the bus the amount will be adjusted either you will get some money back if it was a short trip or a second charge for a little bit more will be made when you scan upon exit.

BUS STOP LOCATION FOR THE SMART BUS SYSTEM IN PHUKET

The first departures will be from the Phuket airport and Rawai at 6am, while the last will be at 8pm. The total is 32 times a day.

There are 50 bus stops installed along the route where people can sit and wait. There will also be a mobile application where passengers can check the nearest bus location and its estimated arrival time. The prices however is not that cheap, especially when you are 3 or more. Perfect for 1 or two people because it will be cheaper than renting a scooter or take a tuk-tuk. 

TIn Patong Beach, for instance the bus sops are placed right central to the ton. The southbound bus stop (from the airport to Rawai beach at the most southern point) is located at the Jungceylon Mall whilst the north bound bus stop is spack centre at the main entrance to the beach area right opposite Bangle Road. Reason for two different locations ...... the two main roads are one-ways. SEE THE PATONG BEACH MAP HERE-UNDER AND THE RED ARROWS INDICATING THE BUS STOPS.

RENT A SCOOTER (my preferred option)

Motorcycles ranging from 100cc automatic scooters to super bikes can be found for hire in most busy beach areas. Prices start at about 200 Baht per day for a 100cc Honda or Suzuki scooter.

The law is vague concerning tourists and motorbike licenses. No one will stop you hiring one without a bike license, or even bother to ask if you have one. The traffic police lately has sharpened their law enforcement wrt tourists on scooters/bikes. This is about time because a lot of people drive recklessly and under the influence, especially at night. Daily you read in the papers about a scooter accident involving a drunk tourist.

There are often road blocks in and around the tourist places. You will get a fine if you do not wear a helmet (including a passenger). You will further get a fine if you do not have your driver's licence on you. The may also ask you for your International Driver's Permit ((IDP). You can apply for your IDP at any AA outlet. In Pretoria for instance, there is an AA store in Menlyn Mall. Here is the link to obtain your application form.

https://www.aa.co.za/productsmembership/international-driving-permit  

You will need:

• One (1) glossy passport size photograph per International Driving Permit type. (Photographs can be taken at selected stores. 
• Valid South African credit card driver's licence
• SA ID. 

In Thailand they also, just like us, drive on the left side of the road. So no need to worry about that.

Insurance is often non-existent or of minimal value. In fact, there is no such thing as first-class insurance on scooters / motorbikes in Thailand, no matter what the rental shop may tell you. However, by law, they must have third-party insurance. This however, is very basic and doesn’t cover theft.

Take extra care when riding a scooter. Scooters are the MAIN mode of transport in Phuket and there are literary thousands on the road. Thai locals does not care about road signs and you will find them often driving on the wrong side. In Phuket itself you will see only one or two traffic lights in the beach areas. Phuket City has much more. But you will mostly drive only in the Beach areas coz that's where you want to be.

Crash helmets must be worn by the driver and passenger, despite the number of Thais you may see riding around without one. The police have increased their efforts to enforce the wearing of helmets, and as a foreigner you stand a much greater chance of being stopped and fined. Why people should have to be forced to wear something that will save their life is puzzling, yet there are quite a few tourists who don’t. If you want to rent a scooter you must hand in your passport at the rental agency.

You will find hundreds of bike rental places all over the island. Most of hotels also rent scooters. If your hotel does not have such a facility ask them where you can rent close by from a reputable place. 

When you accept the scooter walk around the scooter and if there are accident marks or scratches, take a picture with the rental guy as part of the photo just to cover you. There have been cases where tourists have been forced to pay for these  "brandy marks" of a scooter that was  already there when it was rented. THUS FAR IN 7 YEARS I NEVER EXPERIENCED ANY FOUL PLAY.


THE INFAMOUS TUK TUK

If you are a first time tourist then riding in a TUK TUK is a definite YES. I love taking a tuk tuk at night to go to places in Patong like the party areas or restaurants etc. because riding my scooter at night becomes hectic. Roads are jam packed with pedestrians and other scooters ... AND TOURISTS GETS  DRUNK AND CLIMB ON THEIR SCOOTERS - thank you but no thank you.

It is fun but can be an expensive experience. You have to haggle upfront the price. Dont give in as the drivers is well known from ripping off a rookie tourist. Some tuk tuk owners take much pride in their wheels and you will mostly see them with bright coloured neon lights inside and a beat box speaker that blows your ears. Despite the bad reputation they had in the past, they are much more regulated lately and the old "tuk tuk mafia" has died down.

Tuk-tuks can be found all over Phuket, although they tend to be clustered in large numbers around Patong. Tuk-tuks are basically small red vans, which have open backs and sides, and can carry about five passengers. They are 4-wheeled as opposed to the 3-wheeled version found in Bangkok.

The fare MUST BE AGREED UPON BEFOREHAND depending on the distance. Do not let the driver try to charge per passenger as well. This is a scam. The current fares in Patong Beach have been set at 200 Baht for any distance within Patong Beach, a steep R80,00 - not bad if you are 4 or more. A tuk Tuk can take up to 8 passengers but many drivers will try to charge more. If they  don't agree, don't get it. Say politely Thank you but no thank you and walk away. There are 50 more waiting.

If you are going to a more distant location, you will need to agree a round trip fee or try to hire them by the hour. Otherwise you might have difficulty getting a ride back.

TAXIS

Meter taxis are relatively cheap and hassle free, unfortunately, these are only normally available from the airport (read my other post on guides for South Africans). Walk out of the arrivals hall on the ground floor, turn right and walk to the end of the airport terminal building. There is an airport surcharge of 100 Baht but the overall cost should workout slightly less than using the airport “limousine” service.

Most of the taxis you will come across on the island (apart from those at the airport) are unlicensed taxis, especially in busy tourist areas such as Patong. These are normal looking Toyota sedans like cars without any special markings. Like tuk-tuks, you must agree the fare beforehand. You must haggle as the drivers will always quote a price much higher than they will accept. If you are planning on visiting a few places, it can be convenient to hire these taxis for the whole day.

SONG THEAUWS

To get between Phuket City and the Beach Areas, the blue beach buses, or song-thaews, are the cheapest option. Their destination is usually displayed in English on the side. As there are no actual bus stops you will need to flag one down in the middle of the street. When you want to get off, press the buzzer. This is a very cheap transport. Open buses that stops where you want to get on or off. They are normally running down Beach Road in Patong Beach and is a nice way if you  want to go to Phuket City and the Central Festival Mall. Cost is around 15฿  (R6,00) per trip.

MOTOR BIKE TAXIS

A fast and cheap way if you are going alone. Mostly very fast and reckless. You will hardly get a helmet to put on.

HOPE ABOVE WILL ASSIST THOSE PLANNING TO GO TO PHUKET FOR THE FIRST TIME. As I said, I have not gone through the NEW International Arrival/Departure Terminal but will update once I am back April 2017.

PATONG BEACH - CENTRAL HUB OF ALL THINGS GOOD, BAD AND EVERYTHING IN-BETWEEN

To me this beach area is where everything happens. Patong is mad, bad, good, evil, cool, hot, laid back beach life and mind boggling crazy nightlife. Not really a place for a family with children because as interesting and "good" Patong is by day, the hot and sexy sleazy it turns by night.

BANGLA ROAD


Who does not know Bangla Road, THE walking street in Patong at night. By day a normal driving road but from 5 pm closed off and only pedestrians allowed. Hundreds and hundreds bars and clubs tightly packed next to one another and each one playing their own music at top decibels. Night stalls, food vendors, liquor, dance clubs, pubs, massage parlours, ping-pong shows (don't let me explain - experience for yourself), ladies (or those you think are ladies ...) dancing on bar counters. Need I go on. If you not at least visited Bangla Road once then you can't say you've been to Phuket.

Bangla Road might be the MAIN street of liquor and sleeze, but trust me all over the island you will find a party place whether on a main road or in a tiny Soi (dead end side street). One thing you cant say about Patong is that it is boring.

SHOPPING

Patong Beach boasts with the huge Jung Ceylon Mall, a hip and vibey ultra-modern mall where you will find from western brands to Asian inspired fashion stores, restaurants and everything in-between.

Its anchor store (or one of them) is BIG C, similar to our Pick n Pay Hypermarket. As everywhere in Thailand, malls and shops only opens around 10 am and closes around 11 pm. So walking in Patong Beach's streets before 10 in the morning will almost be fruitless. Patong only awakes by 10 am ... after going to bed by 6am.

UPDATE MARCH 2019: Another high end mall opened right across Jungceylon Mall. Sad to say, but the laid back island life feeling of Phuket of years ago is very rapidly fading.

Millions of sidewalk markets and vendors. There is a daily Night Market called OTOP.  Here you will find anything from a condom to a catholic priest for sale ... lol. BUT BE WARNED ... it is not to see a shirt, pay for it and off you go. Oh no. It is going to be a long sale. Thais, especially street vendors, like to barter for the price. It is expected from you to haggle back and forth, back and forth. There are seldom prices on the items so you are forced to ask "how much".  So, the seller will address you in broken English and out comes the calculator. She will type a price (ALWAYS AN INFLATED PRICE) give it to you with hopeful eyes. Now you have to type in a lower price. They are good at this game, remember tourists are seen as wealthy people. 

Don't be fooled. You can bring the price down by at least 40%. If it does not work, POLITELY say "no thank you, too expensive", turn around and walk away. I guarantee she will run to you and say "ok, ok for you special price". Don't be a bitch and try a South African stunt to get it almost for free. Remember this is their only means of income, so bear that in mind, but also be aware not to be ripped off.

MUST SEE PLACES ON THE ISLAND

BIG BUDDAH

Unlike uninformed believe in the outide world, Buddism is NOT A RELIGION but a LIFESTYLE! So leave your Calvinistic upbringing at home and just enjoy this beautiful country. If you are a true christian you do not have to worry that your belief will be in jeopardy. 

Surely the most visited in Phuket. Easy to get there via scooter. Or do a day trip island tour and it will be included.

Although a christian, for me this place just has a presence of unbeatable note. If only Christians can be as dedicated as the Buddhists are.  When I walk inside this place a certain sense of calmness and presence hits me every time. You cannot explain it. THIS DOES NOT MEAN I PRAY TO ANOTHER GOD!!!!!!! 

 

VIEW POINTS

All over the island there are numerous view points but the two that most probably is the most photographed are Phromthep Cape, the most southern tip of the island with the most spectacular sunsets and Karon View Point.

PHROMTHEP CAPE

PHROMTHEP CAPE

FROM KARON VIEW POINT

NIGHT MARKETS

Each beach town boasts with many markets but the BIG one is NAKA MARKET or "Weekend Market" as it is usually known. 

This market is open on Saturdays and Sundays from 16:00 (4pm) until about midnight. Here you will find literary everything and you can taste the most wonderful food, from the best Pad Thai to local delicatessen like fried silk worm, scorpion,  cricket ... This market is HUGE so be prepared to walk, walk, walk. I normally spend there about 3 to 4 hours. Rows and rows of stalls selling the best fake items, food, local designer clothing, electronics, touristy souvenirs, and .......... second hand shoes ..... yes, second hand shoes. Anything goes at Naka Market and it is a definite must for first timers (or second and third timers). 

Situated in Phuket City and not advisable to go there on your scooter from Patong Beach (or the other beach side towns). You have to go over the mountain (hill) at night and the traffic is horrendous. At least once or twice a week you read about an accident on Patong Hill. This specific road is treacherous and drivers just cannot calculate the steepness and the degree of the bend. Do yourself a favour and google  "accident patong hill" and see the amount of posts of accidents involving buses and scooters on that hill... 

Best option is get one of the taxis (min-bus vans) to take you and arrange a time to be picked up again. Set aside 3 hours minimum (if you are lucky). Alternatively take a tuk tuk at around 400฿ (per tuk tuk - not per person)

how about cruchy flavoured silk worms

BUDDIST TEMPLES

All over the island there are numerous spectacular temples (called Wat in Thai) but the BIG ONE, and a must visit, is the WAT CHALONG. This impressive temple is near the BIG BUDDAH. The temple and surrounding buildings and gardens are amasing. The grounds also boast with a market where you can haggle away to get a good price. To see and take in everything here give yourself about 2 hours minimum. A word of caution. All temples in Thailand are sacred so respect the Thai culture. No temple may be entered with shoes and your shoulders and knees MUST be covered. CAREFULLY READ MY DO's & DONT's about Thailand and do not take it lightheartedly.

OTHER TEMPLES AND SHRINES

There are over 40 WATs on Phuket island and all of them is worth visiting. Unfortunately tourists only have so much time. I only managed to get to about 12 of them. Click on the map at the end (red numbers) to see some of them.

SO! WHAT TO DO AND WHAT DEFINITELY NOT TO DO IN THAILAND

Don’t get too hung up about learning a huge list of do’s and don’ts! Most social indiscretions will be forgiven without you even realising. Thais know that foreign visitors have their own customs and different ways of doing things, but if you are aware of some of the do’s and don’ts you will earn respect from your Thai hosts. Most importantly of all, be particularly careful about respecting Buddhism and the Thai Royal Family.

Thai people are amongst the friendliest, most tolerant and nicest people in the world and they appreciate attempts by foreign visitors to be respectful to Thai culture and to have a go at speaking the Thai language.


Thailand DOs

• Do respect all Buddha images. Buddha images are held sacred and sacrilegious acts are punishable by imprisonment even if committed by foreign visitors.

• Do dress properly when visiting a temple.

• Do remove your shoes before entering a temple, somebody’s house and even some shops.

• Do treat monks with the highest respect.

• Do try and keep calm no matter what the problem or provocation may be.

• Do try and learn a few basic phrases in Thai, like ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’.

• Do smile a lot.

• Do enjoy yourself. Thais like life to be enjoyed.

• Do observe smart dress when entering a Temple, women should have shoulders covered and both men and women should avoid wearing scanty shorts. Remember to always take off your shoes when entering a religious building.

Thailand Dont's

• Don’t show disrespect towards the Thai Royal Family. It is a criminal offence to insult the Thai monarchy.

• Don’t cross your legs when you are in the presence of a monk. This applies whether you are sitting on the floor or in a chair.

• Don’t touch a Thai woman without consent. Despite the image portrayed in some bars and clubs, the majority of Thai women are conservative. Most affectionate ladies in the bars would probably be ladyboys anyway.

• Don’t be overly affectionate in public. This has changed in recent years and younger Thai couples can be seen holding hands, but snogging your boyfriend or girlfriend in the middle of the shopping mall won’t win you too many friends. As with many things, Thais know that behaviour in the West is different to Thailand so you won’t be chased out of town for holding hands with your partner, but resist the temptation to do so inside temple grounds.

• Don’t sunbathe nude. This is offensive to most Thai people although nobody is likely to say anything to you if you do so.

• Don’t worry too much about whether you should wai (Thai greeting) or not. 

• Don’t touch a Thai person’s head or ruffle their hair. Apologise if you accidentally touch somebody’s head. There are exceptions to this standard of behaviour; for example, it doesn’t apply to lovers in the privacy of their room. Thai people will also sometimes pat a child on the head, but as a Westerner it’s best not to do this to any child to prevent any embarrassment.

• Don’t place your feet on the table while sitting, don’t point to anything with your feet and don’t touch anybody with your feet.

• Don’t ever lose your temper in public Thai people  like to save face, and getting angry in public shows a lot of disrespect and will make you look like the bad guy.

•  Don’t take Buddha images out of the country. Strictly speaking it is against the law to take or send Buddha images out of the country unless special permission has been granted. However, this doesn’t mean that stores won’t sell them to you. They will sell them to you, but won’t necessarily tell you about the regulations... and then you get to immigration/customs at the airport when you leave and it will be confiscated.

SOME GOOD ADVISE, OBSERVATION AND TRIVIA

There are lots of smells. Walking down a street in Phuket you can smell fragrant jasmine and pungent Durian fruit (smells like sewage - literally it smells like piss that stood in the sun!) on the same block. But you can’t leave Thailand without trying the infamous Durian. Banned from public places like hotels, trains, and the airport due to its distinctive odour, the so-called King of Fruit is best tasted on the street with friends or sitting at an outside table in a restaurant. It’s a flavour you won’t forget.

•  The ice used in Thai restaurants is fine to drink. If you’re somewhere far outside of town and worried about the ice, just get bottled water or beer instead. They say the ice in the form of a barrel with the little hole is "sharp sharp"

• Carry your own tissues and hand sanitiser if you’re not comfortable air drying or using a spray hose next to a squat toilet. Most places we went had “Western” toilets, but I encountered my fair share of squat toilets, too. My advice to the ladies: take a deep breath and pretend like you’re camping. You can do it. DON'T WORRY  HOTELS ALL HAVE WESTERN TOILETS. PUBLIC TOILETS AT BEACHES ETC YOU WILL FIND SQUAT TOILETS.

• Check out a Muay Thai fight at the Bangla Boxing Stadium, but don’t get suckered into buying “VIP” tickets. They are about two meters away from the regular seats and cost four times as much.

• Get massages. Like, five or six per day. They are fabulous and so inexpensive you’ll never again be able to justify paying R500 for a massage back home. R100 for an hour long massage? Yes, please.

• There are 7-11’s  EVERYWHERE. I don't joke, there are probably more 7-11’s in Phuket than there are traffic light vendors/beggars in SA! An then there are also the same amount of Family Marts! These however are small but oh so nice to pop in for ice ice cold air-con in the humidity outside.

• Don’t drink the water. Buy bottles of water or ... buy beer... lots of beer. The humidity makes you sweat it out immediately.

•  Eat a croissant. Or ten. Seriously, they are way better than the ones we have in South Africa.

• It’s okay to negotiate prices with your Tuk Tuk driver. Be wary if they try to convince you to go anywhere other than your destination (usually jewellery or fashion stores that are having “special sales” – the goods are fake, and the driver earns commission for taking you there).

• People don’t stand in lines. This took me a few days (and many long waits for the boys room) to figure out. Instead of queuing up, Thais form a crowd. Stand your ground, and get used to a lack of personal space in public places. Oh yes and Russian tourists have no clue either what queue means! Rude like unbelievably - ok some of them ... the majority? 

• Eat off your spoon, not your fork. Eating directly off a fork is considered crude; instead, use your fork to push food onto your spoon. The belief in Thailand is that should you need a knife to cut meat then it is cooked wrong.

• Don’t talk about the King or Royal family. Seriously, not a word. Never Ever!

• Eat as many mangoes as you possibly can. The mangoes in Thailand are the most delicious in the world.

Mango with sweet sticky rice ...... FUUUUUUU....K  DEVINE

• The best-dressed lady in any given beer bar, or on a sidewalk is probably a lady-boy. Trust me or find out for yourself. True Thai Ladies are taught not to be dressed for attention.

• Thailand has over 1,400 islands within its territory. Arguably the most famous—thanks to the movie The Beach—is Koh Phi Phi near Phuket.

• Whether you're wearing underwear or not (it is illegal in Thailand to leave home without underwear - for Thais), you could still get nabbed for stepping on the local currency, the Thai Baht. Yep, don't step on any note, even if if blows away in the wind. Remember the respect for the King? Well his face is on that note!

• Many Thais have a firm belief in ghosts. For example, after purchasing a house, it’s very common to build a small spirit house for whoever occupied the site in the past, and to give offerings to the spirits. Of course, every family and their degree of belief is different, but walking around after dark just got a little spookier.

• Songkran is one of the world’s largest water festivals and takes place in one of the hottest months of the Thai year—April. It's also a time for cleansing (both personally and in the home, similar to spring cleaning) and signals the Thai New Year. By the way, in Thailand, the current year is 2557 (543 years ahead of the Gregorian Calendar). UPDATE: WE HAD THE MOST AMASING AWESOME SONGKRAN 3 DAYS - WHAT A MUST EXPERIENCE!

• Haggling is a big deal in Thailand. You can halve the price of just about everything you see if you play your cards right. But is it worth haggling for 30 minutes about something you really want and will cost about R 10,00 but you are just willing to pay R 9,00??

• Mai Pen Rai:  It’s not just a phrase — it’s a lifestyle. From traffic that’s too chill and no road rage, to honk to people not fussed enough to sprint for the last seat on the Songtaew, this phrase captures it all. Technically it means something along the lines of, “Everything is okay; don’t worry about it,” but it’s more than just a nonchalant “no problem.” This carefree attitude is woven through the culture — and for any vacation, it’s perfect.

• Strange but True. You sweat like a pig on the island. So ladies not even waterproof make-up will hide your flaws. You are on a island FFS - go au-natural! The humidity is high. But here is the most awesome discovery I had since whatever. Nowhere do you smell any sweaty people. Your sweat does not stink - Never, NADA! True as njannies! Not even your clothes smell of sweat!!!!! Dont believe me? OK, go to any shop in the mall and look for deodorant (normal spray can - you will find VERY LITTLE if any. YOU DO NOT NEED IT!!!!! I know you still dont believe me so take 4 cans of you Mum for Men or whatever and take up my challenge. I know you will go and try  and find the millions of deodorants you find here. 

I hope the above information gives you peace of mind especially if you are a first time visitor to this amasing country

Sabaidee Mai Krub

Jacques

Branches on the Road It’s not a decoration, it’s a warning signal! Some hills in Phuket are treacherous and steep, old cars or trucks often can’t make it to the top and have to stop in dangerous curves. A triangle would be costly or complicated to collect once you got lucky enough to restart. So be smart: break a nearby a leafy branch and drop it few meters away from your troubled vehicle! Abandon it there once you leave, who cares anyway!

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Phuket Gazette